Thursday 13 September 2012

T's Birth Day. (The 2nd Part)

So here is the part that includes the actual labour and birth stuff. As mentioned in part one, my Dad passed away suddenly on November 26. My husband and I headed to my parents house two hours away to be with the family, try to make sense of this tragic, life altering event, and figure out what to do. We arrived late in the evening to an overwhelming display of love and support from family and friends. There were tears.... so. many. tears. And sympathetic hugs. But mostly there was disbelief. Disbelief and utter shock that such a good man had been taken so soon, and so suddenly.

The next few days were such a blur of emotions. There were flowers, beautiful cards, lovingly delivered dishes of food, and so many family and friends. The funeral date was set for Friday, December 2nd at the church his family had attended throughout his childhood. I wasn't 39 weeks yet and this being my first baby, I assumed that I would be overdue, so I didn't think much about the possibility of going into labour... I mean honestly, thats the stuff soap operas are made of, right?

I woke up on the morning of November 30th at my parents feeling extra craptastic. I mean, in the grand scheme of feeling crappy, that week definitely takes the cake, but something was different. I had been up a billion times in the night to pee and woke up sore and exhausted. I chalked it up to dehydration and sleeping in my tiny childhood bed with my gigantic husband. Throughout the morning I started noticing waves of cramping. I tried drinking water, taking a hot shower, and laying down, convincing myself that this was just my body telling me to take it easy.  As much as I wanted to meet her daughter, I honestly didn't think I could handle anything else emotionally that week. I didn't want to welcome her into the world when we were in the very depths of grieving and mourning. It just couldn't possibly be labour. 

I was so wrong.

I was trying to keep all these labour thoughts to myself because I figured everyone else had enough to deal with. I was scared that if I made a scene and it wasn't actually labour (I mean, she's my first baby, I had no idea what it was supposed to feel like!) that I would have created all sorts of unnecessary drama.  However, it got to a point where I couldn't really talk through these "cramps" and they were coming pretty consistently. My mom caught on and convinced me to go to the hospital right around the corner from her house. J and I headed over around lunchtime, after I told her to keep it to herself until we were sure it was the real deal.

I was very lucky that my cousin is an OB/GYN in the city we were since we hadn't planned to deliver there, and after a few text messages and phone calls, the labour and delivery wing was ready and waiting to check me out. I was still totally convinced that this was just false labour, and maybe i'd get a bag of IV fluids and sent on  my way. The cramps hurt, but I had heard such horror stories about contractions that I figured this can't possibly be it. I settled into the triage area to be assessed. A lovely resident came to check me out and after 20 seconds declared "oh my goodness, your 7cm, your having a baby today!"

Excuse me? Today? We are meeting her today?!!!!

And at that moment, I let myself be excited. (and so NERVOUS!) I let myself feel something other than despair and unrelenting grief. We were going to meet our daughter. HOLY CRAP.

After this, I immediately told myself two things:
a) Live in the moment. Cherish every second of this experience. You only have your first baby once and my Dad would have been so disappointed if he thought I had let anything get in the way of having that experience. 
b) I NEED AN EPIDURAL!!! 

By this time the contractions had become more than cramps and had turned into those gut twisting, uterus on fire, no relief monstrosities I had been dreading. One on top of the other. So I got an epidural. AHHH-MAZING. 

I'm going to fast forward here through a bunch of internal checks, my water breaking and exciting text messages to the actual birth part. Around 7 pm the nurse decided I should start practice pushing. Pushing is no joke. After an hour I felt like I had run a marathon and she still wasn't any closer to arrival. The resident came in and we started noticing large drops in her heart rate with each contraction and she had expressed meconium, both signs of fetal distress. She had to come out, and she had to come out now. After 2 GIANT pushes and the assistance of a vacuum (at which point, my husband proclaimed "it looks just like when we pull a calf out!"), T was born at 8:20pm on Wednesday, November 30, weighing in at 7lbs, 5oz and measuring 21 inches long. 

She was here. She was healthy. And she changed our lives and our hearts forever. 


And we were discharged in time for the funeral. Little Miss T got to say a proper goodbye to the Gramps she never met, but I know will always be in her heart. 

1 comment:

  1. Wow. Amazing story hun. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad's passing but how amazing that when one life ends, another begins and Miss T got to attend her Gramp's funeral. Much love. x

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